My Dear Undergrad
The pandemic has certainly created a disruption in the daily lives of people around the globe. To say that 2020 hasn’t been the best of years would be an understatement.
Around mid-March, McGill closed its campus. At the beginning, it was a temporary two-day shut down…and here we are. This abrupt closure has left me, and many others, longing for…well…closure. There was so much I was looking forward to: the iron ring ceremony, grad ball, and convocation to name a few. But most importantly, I didn’t get a chance to say my last goodbyes to McGill, Montreal, and my dear friends. It’s been almost three weeks since I officially finished undergrad and, yet, nothing feels different. The chapter isn’t closed.
It’s a painful limbo to live in. I’m not one to get attached to the past. When something in my life ends, I tend to want to move on quite quickly. Naturally, a part of me already wants to move on and start the new chapter of my life, but another part is still stuck in Montreal. So, I thought that maybe writing down what’s been in my mind for the past couple of weeks would help.
I almost didn’t choose McGill
All throughout high school, I was set on studying Engineering Science at the University of Toronto. For almost the entirety of high school, everything that I did, I did with the mindset that I would end up in that program. To me, it was the best choice: I already lived in Toronto, so there was no need for moving; the program focused heavily on theory, which was (and still is) my jam; and it was arguably at the best university in Canada. Back then, McGill wasn’t even an option that I was seriously considering.
It took one email to change everything. I was offered a full scholarship to study at McGill, and I had a week to decide. I remember being hesitant initially. I was still pretty set on UofT, but after a couple of days, I slowly realized what a fantastic opportunity I had been given, so I accepted it.
The past four years have been a mess of emotions. I’ve laughed as intensely as I’ve cried, my heart’s been filled to the brim with love, and my lungs with screams of rage. Most importantly, I’ve grown in so many aspects. I used to be shy, one-dimensional, and narrow-minded, and I am so grateful that McGill helped me to step outside of my comfort zone and grow out of my shell. I’ve learned so much – about the world around me and about myself -- and my mind has been stretched in a plethora of directions. Reflecting back on all my experiences, I am simply grateful. Specifically, grateful for…
McGill
Thank you, McGill, for truly being a world-class institution. You did have your flaws that often drove me crazy, but you also transformed me as a person, and that’s what matters. From trips to Tim Hortons at 3am to study for a midterm, to the crazy social atmosphere that helped maintain my sanity, I’ll treasure every memory for as long as I can.
Montreal
You’re such a fantastic city to live in. Whether it was 35 or -40 degrees outside, you had something to offer — from running up Mount Royal to going to cafes, festivals, parks, and restaurants. When I was surrounded with friends and loved ones, your warmth made me proud to call you home. When no one was there for me and I was all by myself, beaten up by the cruelty of life, you held me by the hand and helped me get back up. I never grew tired of you. Thank you; I love you from the bottom of my heart.
Friends
I am so lucky to have met and gotten to know every single one of you. You were instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today. Some of you pushed me to be my best. When things got stressful, some of you gave me reasons to go on. I got closer with some of you, and drifted apart from some others, but one thing you all did was to inspire me. I was constantly amazed by how many captivating, intelligent, driven people I was surrounded with, and how much I could learn from everyone.
I’m so grateful our paths intertwined – some more tightly than others — in the past couple of years. I can only hope that I get to see each and every one of you again and tell you, in person, how much you’ve meant to me.
Thank you; I loved, love, and will love you all.
Professors
I look up to so many of you. In a sense, you were my role models. Hopefully one day I’ll be as intelligent, wise, and inspiring as you. Thank you for showing me how much of an influence you can have over your students’ lives. Some of you made me love my courses, and some others made me – to put it as diplomatically as I can – often consider changing programs. Regardless, thank you for letting me learn so much from you, inside and outside of class.
I am forever indebted to you and can only hope I’ll be able to make it up to you at some point in my life, though I don’t know how I can.
Home
Given the fact that I spent the majority of my time on campus, I didn’t really see more to you than a bed and a fridge. I even refused to decorate you any more than necessary, because I knew one day I had to leave you. But thank you for being the best home I could ask for. Whether it was annual potlucks filled with food and friends, or solitary nights with some instant noodle and Netflix, you gave me the warmth and the roof over my head that I needed. Thank you.
I can’t believe my undergrad came to a finish so quickly. As cliché as it sounds, it really does feel like yesterday when I first moved to Montreal, excited to see how my future unfolds. And here I am, back home with my family after handing my keys to my landlord and driving away, with my beloved second home in the rear-view mirror. I wish time would slow down so I could catch a breath and take in the surroundings before they disappeared into the past.
To this day, I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had chosen UofT. Would I have been as fulfilled? Would I have grown as much? Would I have met equally as awesome people? Maybe. I don’t believe there’s a purpose to contemplating what could have been, though. I’d rather spend more time in my own universe than try to peek into other parallel ones.
The End.