Road to Rhodes

In Fall of 2019, I applied to the Rhodes Scholarship, a prestigious award given to 100 students worldwide to study for 2-3 years at Oxford. Oxford has a strong plasma physics program and is close to the Culham Centre for Fusion Energy; the scholarship would have been a dream come true.

I started crafting my statement of purpose late summer while chasing for six (!!!) recommendation letters. Draft after draft, it took me a month to come up with an essay that represented me properly. The next step was to gather and upload the rest of the documents that the scholarship application required; the list of documents was exhaustive and intimidating at some points, but I managed to upload everything in time. The application was due late September, and I submitted everything a couple of days before the due date.

I heaved a sigh of relief and forgot about the application, as it was a busy time of the semester and I had a ton to deal with. I didn’t hear anything until early November, when I got an email from the secretary to the selection committee for Quebec. I was chosen as a finalist and invited for a pre-interview cocktail and an interview the day after. I was extremely excited to have received the email, but once everything settled, the anxiety began.

I started preparing a list of questions they could ask me during the interview and an outline of what my answer would look like. I picked 2-3 themes that would connect my responses and prevent me from going on pointless digressions. I booked mock interviews with McGill’s career planning services, the engineering faculty, and with a decent number of my professors. Interviews aren’t my forte, so the mock ones really helped me.

Then came the day of the cocktail. I dressed up and went to the address included in the invitation email. I entered a fancy building in downtown Montreal and met the 11 other finalists. We talked amongst ourselves for a bit and got to know each other until we were invited to the room where the cocktail was held. We entered the room one-by-one, amazed at the chic and intimidating decoration. Large paintings were hung on wooden walls and near each wall was furniture that looked so expensive that I didn’t dare sit on. In the room were the interview panellists, almost all of whom were Rhodes scholars. It was an incredible experience talking to them, hearing their life stories, and sharing with them my journey.

I also had a chance to get to know the other finalists better; all of them, unsurprisingly, turned out to be highly accomplished people. Although we were all stressed, we had an amazing time and ended up making a Facebook group to stay connected after the cocktail.

The next day was the interview. I wanted to be as relaxed as possible for it, so I went for a run, took a shower, dressed up, and headed to the address a bit earlier. Upon arrival and a bit of waiting, I was greeted by the main panellist, and taken to the interview room. I was sitting across from seven interviewers who had achieved a great amount in their lives and wanted to see if I had what it took to be a Rhodes scholar like themselves.

The first question got straight to the point

“So you want to do research in plasma physics with applications to fusion energy… why do you think fusion is one day going to be achieved?”

The interviewers did not share my background…at all. So it was hard for me to drive my points across while avoiding technical terms. More questions were thrown my way.

“Are fusion reactors the same as the nuclear reactors used today? Can some parts of currently existing reactors be used in fusion reactors?”

Some were situational.

“How would you go about convincing people — in a province that is moving away from nuclear reactors — about building fusion reactors?”

And then some unusual questions were asked.

“What is the role of religion within society?”

“Did you have any preconceived notions about Quebec before studying at McGill? Did any of them change during your time in Montreal?”

The whole thing took around 45 minutes. Looking back, I think I handled it pretty well, and I don’t have any regrets with regards to my performance. I thanked the interviewers, exited the room, and wondered how they were going to choose two out of 12 accomplished individuals. It would be a tough task, but it was no longer my concern. I was done; I breathed another sigh of relief.

The day after, I was working on a project with my friend in a computer lab when my phone rang. I picked it up to hear the voice of one of the panellists.

Abtin, I’d like to thank you for giving us a chance to meet you and listen to your story. We had many talented individuals as finalists this year, and had to make tough decisions. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to offer you the Rhodes scholarship.

And that was it. The door was closed. I had put hours into my application, and even more hours into preparing for the interview. But I would not be a Rhodes scholar and that was my only chance. I gave this all I had and it just wasn’t enough. It took a couple of hours for that to fully sink in, and I wasn’t in the greatest mood for the rest of the day.

My friends and professors tried to console my by telling me that I had already accomplished a great amount having been selected as a finalist. It’s true to some extent, but life doesn’t have a consolation prize. You’re either a Rhodes scholar or you’re not. You either get your dream job after 4 rounds of interviews or you don’t. It doesn’t matter that you made it as a finalist or that you made it to the last round of interviews. That’s a tough pill to swallow.

In any case, I don’t like to drown in the past. Although I didn’t have what it took to be a Rhodes scholar, I didn’t have any regrets; if I could go back, I wouldn’t have done anything differently, and, in a sense, that is peaceful.

I breathed one last sigh of relief.